Ditto most of what Dennis said. But doubly so on spelling (see 'Lamber' in the legend for your projection).
And I'd reverse the order of the photos to line up with the geography - or was that a test ; )
Overall nice map. I think there could be better hierarchy in the labels, the trail notes labels don't stand out from the other large black feature type enough. I'd set geographic feature type type to a dark greay perhaps to pull it back a bit and have only your trail notes in full black to make them pop.
As suggested, I'd simplify the trail line a little, but not too much. I think it's ok at this scale to have some line clumping in very tight areas of the trail, but it would help to reduce it a little.
Definitely remove label halos, no need for them here.
I'd give the Pacific Ocean label more letter spacing and make it a little bigger (maybe white on blue rather than blue on blue).
And I'd probably add more letter space to the state and province labels and do something to separate their style from the national labels (larger, smaller, tighter, something).
Set your legend box so it is evenly spaced from each frame edge.
Remove your title from its box and make it bigger. If you need to separate it from the map try a very light drop shadow.
Make sure your legend labels match the labels in the map. Some of the labels are in ALL CAPS in the map, but Title Case in the legend.
And add more more notes and trail details to the middle section. You must have more details for this trip than just in the southern part. Give it a story!
Great way to share a monumental trip by the way!